Quick, to the slutcave!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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