I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
