And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
