but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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