She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
