he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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