i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I think a kid would responsible me up
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
