he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
