dude i'm inner monologue high
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
