This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You can't motorboat a personality
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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