butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sarcasm needs its own font
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
