So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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