What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
