It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
