I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
