Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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