Pappa wants mamma naked
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
