Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
high people should be assigned attendants
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
