I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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