He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
