he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
