I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
