All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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