Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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