I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
