Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
