shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
