Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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