my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
