it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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