I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
