you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
