Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
