yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
