He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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