If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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