Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
