There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
