Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
