Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
