i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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