ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
