Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
