I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
