The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
