Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
