She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
