I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
