Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
