thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
