I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
