no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
